A Powerful Ritual for Better Relationships

"It takes two to speak the truth — one to speak and another to hear."

Henry David Thoreau

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where it feels like it's just too much?

Things are fine one moment, then they dip again and again—confusing, stressful, upsetting, doubtful, right? You've reached your breaking point, yet you find yourself still there the next moment, the next month, and it repeats, over and over. 

Relationships have many ebbs and flows, but it's what you do in the ebbs that makes a difference.

So, is there a secret to creating flow and harmony in your relationships?

What if I told you there was one way, one way that helped transform many of my relationships, and it can do the same for you? Have you heard the story of the angry man and the Buddha?

Where It Starts

For years, I struggled deeply with relationships—with my family, myself, and the world around me. It always felt like that aspect of my life was falling apart—feeling worthless, hopeless, useless... But why couldn't I see a breakthrough?

Then one day, during a call with John Assaraf, I shared my struggles. He mentioned the story of the man and the Buddha. And that story flipped my relationships, with so much power.

Anger - The Buddha & The Man

If someone doesn’t accept your anger, to whom does it belong?

One day, Buddha was passing through a village when a very angry and rude young man approached him and began to insult him. The Buddha was not bothered by these insults and listened patiently as the young man vented his anger.

When he finished, the Buddha looked deep into his eyes and asked him in a gentle voice, "Tell me, if you want to give someone a gift, but that person chooses to refuse it, to whom would the gift ultimately belong?"

The young man was surprised and replied, "It would belong to me because I bought it."

The Buddha smiled and said, "That is right. And it is the same with your anger. If you are angry with me and I do not feel insulted, then the anger falls on you again. Then you are the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself. If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."

Will You Accept the Gift?

Had enough of accepting someone's gift? For years, I accepted those gifts—emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually draining... Is it easy to not accept a gift from someone you know, to not accept what no longer serves you? At first, it can be challenging—but the change can be outstanding.

Create Flow in Your Relationships?

Respond vs React

Have you ever heard of the saying "When you react, you are giving away your power; when you respond, you are staying in control of yourself." Bob Proctor

Responding means turning away the gift; by reacting, you are accepting it. What do you choose?

Take Control of Your Emotions

Your emotions have power. Emotions are nothing more than just engery, what energy are you bring to the table each day. Is it any energy you would love to be around yourself, or an energy that will repel you.

Know... What You Focus On Expands.

What if you were able to grow in strength, remain calm, and see your life on a better path? As the law of polarity states, for every up, there must be down, for every inside, there must be an outside, for positive, there must be a negative. 

What emotions, energy, and focus do you choose today and each day?

3. Understanding the Power of Acceptance

Acceptance is a powerful tool in any relationship. It doesn’t mean condoning negative behavior, but rather, understanding it and choosing how to respond. When you accept that you cannot control others, but only your reactions to them, you begin to reclaim your power.

Acceptance allows you to see situations from a broader perspective. It helps you realize that everyone is dealing with their own struggles and that their actions often have more to do with their internal battles than with you. This realization can be incredibly freeing and can lead to more compassionate interactions.

4. Practicing Empathy and Compassion

Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of another. It is about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. When you practice empathy, you create a space for deeper connection and understanding.

Compassion goes hand in hand with empathy. It involves taking action to alleviate the suffering of others. When you approach your relationships with compassion, you not only improve the dynamics but also contribute to the emotional well-being of those around you.

5. Communication: The Heart of Relationships

Effective communication is crucial for any relationship to thrive. It involves not just speaking but also listening—really listening to understand, not just to respond. Open, honest communication can prevent misunderstandings and build trust.

When discussing difficult topics, use "I" statements to express your feelings without blaming or accusing the other person. For example, "I feel hurt when..." instead of "You always make me feel...". This approach can lead to more productive conversations and solutions.

6. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential in maintaining healthy relationships. They define what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Setting boundaries is about respecting yourself and your needs while also respecting the other person.

Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or mental. They help protect your well-being and prevent resentment from building up. Communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively, and remember that it’s okay to say no.

7. The Role of Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's necessary. When you prioritize your well-being, you have more to give to your relationships. Self-care involves nurturing your body, mind, and spirit.

Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could be anything from reading a book, taking a walk, meditating, or spending time with loved ones. When you are in a good place mentally and physically, you are better equipped to handle relationship challenges.

8. The Ripple Effect of Positivity

Your attitude and behavior can influence those around you. When you approach relationships with positivity and kindness, you create a ripple effect. Your actions can inspire others to respond in kind, leading to a more harmonious environment.

Positivity doesn’t mean ignoring problems but rather facing them with a constructive mindset. It’s about looking for solutions instead of dwelling on issues. This proactive approach can significantly improve your relationships.

9. Let Go 

Creating harmony in your relationships starts with you. It starts with the choice to respond instead of react, to let go of anger and embrace love. It starts with understanding that you have the power to choose what you accept and what you let go of.

When you decide to not accept the negative "gifts" from others, you reclaim your power and create a space for positive energy to flow into your life. This change won't happen overnight, but with consistent effort and awareness, you can transform your relationships and your life.

Moving Forward with Love

As you move forward, remember to focus on what you want to expand in your life. Focus on love, kindness, and positivity. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

What do you choose to focus on?

From this point forwards, will you accept the gift?

To your greatest and most harmonious relationships,

Sefika Evliya