Release Your What If Fears & Start Living Your True Destiny

Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart."

- Roy T. Bennett

What if I don't succeed? What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not loved, rejected, embarrassed, ashamed, judged, or even ridiculed?

A never-ending line of 'what if' fears. Like many, I've felt every one of these 'what if' fears, and they almost ruined my life.

The truth is, as John Assaraf once said, 'We live in a universe of dualities and polarities; for every up, there must be a down; for every inside, there must be an outside; for every positive, there must be a negative.'

What if the opposite applied to your 'what if' fears - What if you succeed? What if you are good enough? What if you are loved, smart enough, confident enough, and much more? Then what?

If one holds on to their 'what if' fears for too long, it can start to strip away one's true identity, causing more harm than good. As we feed our fear power, we permit it to govern our lives.

We all live in a world filled with fears, a never-ending line of fears, whether those fears are a real threat or not. Fears start in the mind! Our brains cannot tell the difference between what is real or imagined.

“When you are facing a perceived threat—whether it’s truly threatening or not, real or imagined—the part of your brain that controls fears takes charge.” - John Assaraf

Living In A Black Box Of Fears

Growing up, I was someone who longed to find answers to the following questions:

What if I never figure out what happiness is? What if I become depressed? What if no one loves me? What if my life never gets better?

I was living in a black box of my own 'what if' fears, believing them to be true at the time. I couldn't see a path beyond this point, feeling so hopeless and useless. What was the true purpose of life? To live, die, and in the end, face 'nothingness' as my life was heading in a downward spiral.

My life was quickly heading in a downward spiral, and I was the one who feared.

Governed By Fears

Suffering in silence with fears I never spoke aloud. In 2008, my life took a 360-degree turn as depression struck again.

"Mum, please don't kill yourself!" I pleaded as my mum suffered a mental breakdown, holding a knife towards her wrist. In that moment, I felt so hopeless, useless, and worthless.

As depression struck once more, my mum was taken away in an ambulance, and that young girl lost her mum. The mum who used to cuddle, be supportive, and share love was replaced by a quiet, zoned-out figure who had lost hope in living.

“Mum, can't you see life beyond how you're feeling?”

“No, because I am depressed.”

Stillness… Quietness. Sometimes, it's like talking to a blank canvas.

Depression Strikes Again

The reason I say "depression struck again" is because it affected not just my older sister, but also my mum.

I have a sister who was born with learning difficulties. Later in life, she developed mental health issues. When her mental health deteriorates, she becomes unaware of her actions. Her behavior resonates with that of a young child—shouting, screaming, crying, and worse.

Suppression Leads To Depression

For many years, I hid away, suppressing my 'what-if' fears and masking my feelings with a fake smile. I would secretly scratch my hands, even bash my head against a mirror—not because I was depressed, but because I wanted someone to hear me, to notice me. I longed for someone to see the true hurt I was going through.

That young girl was never heard by anyone, leading me to fear becoming like what I witnessed: 'Depressed.'

Edge of a Window

One day, I finally mustered the courage to confront my fears of depression and sought help from my doctor. He inquired about my family history, and swiftly, a prescription for antidepressants was in my hands.

As I took the first tablet later that day, a few hours passed, and suddenly, it felt like Superwoman had entered the room. However, I experienced a reaction to the tablets that made me feel like jumping out of my window.

The next day, the doctor prescribed another set of tablets, leading to a pivotal moment that set me on the path to change my destiny.

"Will I ever not be depressed?" I asked, and the reply was disheartening

"Never. You will always be depressed, you will always be depressed.

A Choice to Make

At that moment, I faced a crucial choice.

I could either succumb to my fears or take charge, bravely stepping into the unknown.

Never Looked Back:

I wasn't depressed. I was entangled in a long trail of emotions and 'what if' fears, unable to see a way forward at the time.

Path to Freedom

In February 2018, I embarked on an incredible self-development journey. During this time, I discovered the work, wisdom, and light of John Assaraf, prompting me to purchase his book 'Innercise' and ultimately making him my mentor.

"Exercising My Brain Muscles" with his teachings, training, and programs, I witnessed a transformation. In just two months, my 'what if' fears transformed into my sources of power and strength.

I would be dishonest if I claimed it was a straightforward path, but with dedicated practice, it became a rewarding journey. A path that has altered my destiny in ways beyond any words.

Practice Releasing Your What If Fears:

Innercise - Fix Your Focus, And Release Your Fears (Source Video Above Bu John Assaraf)

1. Identify anything that causes you to feel the emotion of fear.

2. Take 3 deep breaths, In through your nose and out through your mouth.

3. Next Image the potential negative outcome, then the positive outcome. Keep breathing (Remember you are just imagining)

4. Then ask yourself - Which one do you prefer, the positive or the negative outcomeIf it the positive.

5. See yourself experiencing a positive outcome.

Before I End This Blog, I would like to leave you with the following words. Never think that any storm or challenge is too big to overcome. Never let go of that true sparkle that lies within you. You are worthy. Keep on shining. Keep smiling and remember to love yourself.

Remember, the only way to truly overcome your 'What If Fears' is to face them head-on.

Your destiny is waiting; don't let fear hold you back any longer.

All the best,

Sefika