Change Your Meanings: Empower Your Feelings & Your Life

“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” 

~ Anaïs Nin

Most people believe their feelings are caused by what happens to them.

A conversation goes badly, and they feel frustrated.A plan falls apart, and they feel discouraged.Someone says something hurtful, and they feel angry or small.

So they assume their emotions are controlled by circumstances. But that belief alone quietly takes away their power.

Because if your feelings are caused by events, then your life is always at the mercy of what happens next. And that’s not how it works.

The truth is far simpler, and far more empowering.

It’s not what happens to you that shapes your life.It’s the meaning you give to what happens.

Once you understand that, everything begins to change.

Why Feelings Are Not the Problem

Most people spend their lives trying to control their feelings.

They try to avoid discomfort. They try to “stay positive.” They try to suppress emotions they don’t like.

But feelings are not the problem.

Feelings are signals.

They are the result of the meaning you attach to an experience.

Two people can go through the same situation and feel completely different—because they interpret it differently.

One sees failure.The other sees feedback.

One sees rejection.The other sees redirection.

The event is the same. The meaning is different.And the feeling follows the meaning every time.

John Assaraf explains this clearly in the video below, where he breaks down how the meaning you give to experiences directly shapes how you feel and how you act:

Watch: The Mindset of a Winner – How Meaning Shapes Results

The Hidden Habit That Shapes Your Life

Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly assigning meaning.

It happens automatically.

Something doesn’t work → “This always happens to me.”Someone disagrees with you → “They don’t respect me.” Progress feels slow → “I’m falling behind.”

Those meanings feel true—but they are habits, not facts.

And once a meaning becomes familiar, it starts running your emotional life on autopilot.

That’s why some patterns repeat for years:

The same frustration

The same doubt

The same emotional reactions

Not because life keeps attacking—but because the meanings never change.

Step into your next level with John Assaraf's Proven Approach!

Why Most People Feel Stuck Emotionally

Most people believe emotions just “show up.”

They don’t realize they are participating in them.

They never stop to ask:

What meaning am I giving this right now?

Is this meaning helping me or hurting me?

So emotions feel random, overwhelming, and hard to manage.

But the moment you become aware of the meaning behind a feeling, you gain choice.

And choice is where power lives.

A Simple Blueprint for Changing Meaning

Changing meaning is not about pretending everything is fine.

It’s not about ignoring reality.

It’s about choosing interpretations that give you strength instead of draining it.

Here is a simple, structured way to do that.

Step 1: Notice the Feeling Without Judging It

The first step is awareness.

When a strong feeling shows up frustration, anger, fear, disappointment—pause.

Don’t label it as bad .Don’t try to push it away. Just notice it.

Feelings are information. If you try to suppress them, you miss the message.

Instead, ask:

What am I feeling right now?

That simple pause breaks the automatic reaction cycle.

Step 2: Identify the Meaning Behind the Feeling

Every feeling comes from a thought. And every thought carries meaning.

Ask yourself:

What does this situation mean to me right now?

You might be surprised by the answer. Often, the meaning sounds like:

“This means I’m not good enough.”

“This means I’m failing.”

“This means I can’t trust people.”

Once you see the meaning clearly, you realize something important:

The feeling isn’t controlling you.The meaning is.

Step 3: Question the Meaning, Not the Feeling

Most people try to argue with their emotions. That doesn’t work. Instead, question the meaning.

Ask:

Is this the only meaning I could give this?

Is this absolutely true?

Is this meaning helping me move forward?

You’re not denying reality.You’re expanding it.

And expansion creates options.

Step into your next level with John Assaraf's Proven Approach!

Step 4: Choose a Meaning That Gives You Strength

Now comes the most important step. You get to choose a new meaning. Not a fake one.Not an unrealistic one.

A useful one. For example:

“This is feedback, not failure.”

“This is uncomfortable, not dangerous.”

“This is part of growth, not proof I should stop.”

When you change the meaning, the feeling changes automatically.

Not instantly every time, but consistently over time.

John Assaraf explains this shift beautifully in the next video, where he shows how changing internal meaning leads to better choices and stronger emotional control:

Watch: Unlock Your Limitless Mind – Take Back Emotional Control

Step 5: Act From the New Meaning

Meaning shapes emotion.Emotion shapes action.

Once you choose a stronger meaning, take one small action that matches it.

If the new meaning is “This is growth,” then act like someone who is growing.

If the new meaning is “I’m learning,” then take a learning step.

Action locks the meaning in place. Without action, the old meaning will try to return.

Step 6: Practice Until It Becomes Automatic

Changing meaning is a skill. And like any skill, it improves with repetition.

At first, you’ll catch yourself after reacting.Then during the reaction.Eventually, before the reaction.

That’s when emotional freedom begins.

Not because life stops challenging you—but because challenges stop controlling you.

Step into your next level with John Assaraf's Proven Approach!

Why This Changes Your Life

When you change meaning, you change:

How long emotions last

How intense they feel

How you respond under pressure

You stop feeling pushed around by circumstances.

You start feeling grounded, clear, and steady—even when things don’t go your way.

This doesn’t make life easy. It makes you stronger.

Final Thought

You will not always control what happens. But you always control what it means. And what it means determines how you feel.How you feel determines how you act.And how you act determines the direction of your life.

Change the meaning, and you empower your feelings.

Empower your feelings, and you empower your life.

To your success,

Sefika Evliya